Redneck Humour
Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 7:52 pmDid you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his
entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
The only catch is that she can't touch it till she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink", and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead".
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the
driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th'
bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of em!"
"OK. Ummmmm......five?"
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on
fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
Either way, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer
entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
The only catch is that she can't touch it till she's 14.
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink", and the
person at the front desk says, "Go ahead".
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the
driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th'
bag?"
"Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of em!"
"OK. Ummmmm......five?"
An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,
telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on
fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Arkansas to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas. If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a
teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets
divorced, they're still brother and sister.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
Either way, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer
.gif "LOL")