his wife to shop?
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us
again, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months.
All are verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts,
when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in house wares to go off at 5 minute
intervals.
3. July 7: Made a line of tomato juice on the floor, leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code
3 in house wares!" and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the service desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a camping tent in the sporting goods department, and
told the other customers he'd invite them in, if they
bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they could help him, he begins to cry
and asks, "Why can't people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror and
picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked a
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna Look" Using
different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "Pick me! Pick me!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes
the foetal position and yells, "NO, NO, it's those voices again!"
..and; last, but not least
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited a while;
then yelled very loudly,
Showing Recent Awards for 
.gif "LOL")
