Uncovered

On his deathbed, a husband gasped weakly to his wife."Please
my dear,I want you to grant me one last wish."

"What is it ."she asked.

"Six months after I die I want you to marry Ken next door."

"But I thought you hated Ken."she said

"I do ."said the husband.


~~~~~

SEX AT 73

just took a leaflet out of my mailbox,

informing me that I can have sex at 73.

I'm so happy, because I live at number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.

And it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have to cross the road!

~~~~~

Answering machine message,

"I am not available right now,

But thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making some changes in my life.

Please leave a message after the beep.

If I do not return your call,

you are one of the changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had words,

but I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses

without your glasses.

~~~~~

Blessed are those who can

give without remembering

and take without forgetting.

~~~~~

The irony of life is that,

by the time you're old enough

to know your way around,

you're not going anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before woman

so as to give him time

to think of an answer

for her first question.

~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders,

but it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before you expire.

~~~~~