Daily Little Johnny

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Fri Dec 25, 2015 12:32 am

Hi Guys, I'm nearly at the end of my quest with Little Johnny and I hope you have all enjoyed the ride as much as I have brinnging him to you. ;)

So. in the hope that todays Christmas one isn't the one you were expecting click on the spoiler tab below, this one mde me laugh more than the others.

Spoiler Block
Little Johnny's father was having trouble with his son. Little Johnny had a problem with cursing. Not knowing where to go, Johnny's father went to a psychologist about the problem.

"Here's what you do", said the Psychologist. "Christmas is coming up. Ask Johnny what he wants for Christmas and every time he answers and curses, leave a pile of dog crap where that present goes."

Later that day, Johnny's father asks his son what he wants for Christmas. Johnny replies "When I wake up, I want a new baseball in my bed. When I go downstairs, I want to see a damn train going around the damn tree. Then when I go outside, I want to see a new damn bike in the driveway."

Christmas morning, Johnny wakes up covered in dog feces. He goes down and sees crap going all the way around the tree. He walked outside to the driveway and saw the biggest pile of crap he had ever seen. Johnny's father walks up behind him and asked "What did Santa bring you son?"

Johnny replied, "I think he brought me a puppy but I cant find the son of a bitch."

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Fri Dec 25, 2015 9:32 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

Great job on these Pip. Merry Christmas!!!
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Fri Dec 25, 2015 11:14 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Sat Dec 26, 2015 9:06 am

Little Johnny's Christmas Letter

Dear Santa,

You must be surprised that I'm writing to you today, the 26th of December. Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurred since the beginning of the month, when, filled with illusion, I wrote you my letter. I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades, and a football uniform.

I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not only was I the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school. I'm not going to lie to you, there was no one in my entire neighborhood that behaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends, and with my neighbors. I would go on errands, and even help the elderly cross the street. There was virtually nothing within reach that I would not do for humanity.

What balls do you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a stupid whistle and a pair of socks. What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, that you've taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with some shit like this under the tree. As if you hadn't fucked me enough, you gave that little faggot across the street so many toys that he can't even walk into his house.

Please don't let me see you trying to fit your big fat ass down my chimney next year. I'll fuck you up. I'll throw rocks at those stupid reindeer and scare them away so you'll have to walk back to the fucking North Pole, just like what I have to do now since you didn't get me that fucking bike. Fuck you, Santa. Next year you'll find out how bad I can be, you fat son-of-a-bitch!

Sincerely,

Little Johnny
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Sat Dec 26, 2015 6:31 pm

wrong thing to say to Santa :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Sat Dec 26, 2015 10:17 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Sun Dec 27, 2015 12:05 am

Santa's reply.

Dear Little Johnny,

I know WHO you are, and I KNOW where you live. You little sh*t! You can't talk to SANTA like that and get away with it!

If you don't like the yo-yo, which is a classic toy, by the way, then you can just cram it up your little *$$! As for the whistle you didn't care for -- I gotcha whistle right here!!! Come blow on this! And the socks...well, I figured you are big enough to be whacking off, and those sox would have come in handy and been handy to ... well, even you should get the picture!

And... that little "faggot" across the street, you'll be happy to know that he's already got pubic hair and his whang is TWICE as long as yours. Besides, his parents think YOU're the fag --always moanin' and whinin'.

Don't worry about gathering up rocks for my visit to your house next year, 'cause I ain't coming down your chimbly ever again. If you find any pennies this year, you had better stop and pick them up, 'cause that's about all you're going to get for Christmas. Your mom and dad are doing to be killed in a car crash, and you'll be stuck in an orphanage before Thanksgiving.

Bad? You want BAD? I'll show you who's bad!

Affectionally, Adieu,

Santa
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Sun Dec 27, 2015 12:46 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby sam » Sun Dec 27, 2015 4:22 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:49 am

Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.

Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny,
Spoiler Block
"especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby sam » Mon Dec 28, 2015 1:52 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Mon Dec 28, 2015 7:30 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Tue Dec 29, 2015 7:27 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:02 am

Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny." Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?"

"Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny,
Spoiler Block
"cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses!"
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Tue Dec 29, 2015 6:14 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby sam » Tue Dec 29, 2015 7:58 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Wed Dec 30, 2015 12:33 am

One day little Johnny comes home one day from school and his mom asks him how his day was.

He replies, "Mom, today I had sex with the teacher!"

Immediately she was angry. She said, "just wait 'till your dad gets home, he's going to be very mad at you. Go to your room!"

So Johnny goes to his room and finally his dad is home and comes up to the room. Little Johnny tells his dad and the dad is proud of the boy. "Great job son! How old are you 12? 13? How about we go down to the store and get that shiny red bicycle you wanted?" So, they go to the store and the dad buys the bike for his son.

Then he says, "well Johnny, do you want to ride the bike home?"

The boy answers,
Spoiler Block
" No, that's okay Dad, My ass is still sore!"
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Wed Dec 30, 2015 1:39 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Wed Dec 30, 2015 1:58 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:15 am

Little Johnny goes to his sister's room and picks up a used condom.

His sister tells him to give it back, she wants to keep it as a souvenir.

He asks her what it is. She says, "it's a donut."

Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents."

Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents.

He goes to the kitchen with a big smile on his face, and his mom asks him why he's smiling.

He says, "My sister gave me fifty cents for a donut,
Spoiler Block
but I already licked out all the custard!"


And that folks is the final Little Johnny joke on the final day of the year.
All that's left is for me to wish you all a Happy, healthy and prosperous New Year



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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Thu Dec 31, 2015 9:49 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL

Happy New Year Pip!!!
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Thu Dec 31, 2015 11:44 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Fri Jan 01, 2016 2:29 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby sam » Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:27 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby bankska22 » Sat Jan 02, 2016 12:02 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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