Daily Little Johnny

The place to share funny pics, jokes and stories.

Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:02 pm

I'll be posting a Little Johnny joke here every day until New Year.

Check it out daily!

Here's the first.


Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers: 'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob'.


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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby BajeeZa » Thu Nov 12, 2015 4:38 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Thu Nov 12, 2015 6:05 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:38 am

Go Johnny!
:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Fri Nov 13, 2015 8:22 am

Todays offering

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father.
'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?'
I said '6'
'But that's right!'
'Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'
'What's the fu*$ing difference?' asks the father.
'That's what I said!'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Fri Nov 13, 2015 10:13 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby sam » Fri Nov 13, 2015 3:22 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL

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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Sat Nov 14, 2015 2:10 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby BajeeZa » Sat Nov 14, 2015 4:22 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Sat Nov 14, 2015 12:59 pm

And another.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, 'Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!'
The teacher replied, 'Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is urinate. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go.'
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, 'You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Sat Nov 14, 2015 3:44 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Sat Nov 14, 2015 5:49 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby bankska22 » Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:51 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Sun Nov 15, 2015 10:35 pm

Nobdy looked at the previous one?

I guess it's to do witrh the different time zones we have!

So here's todays, late but it's here!


Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.'

Little Johnny replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years old.'

The man asked, 'Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?'

Little Johnny answered,
Spoiler Block
'No, he minded his own fucking business!'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Mon Nov 16, 2015 2:29 am

Little Johnny is tough :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Mon Nov 16, 2015 5:55 am

You tell 'em Johnny.
:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Mon Nov 16, 2015 10:33 am

A teacher asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. Mary said, 'My family went to the New York City Zoo, and we saw all the animals. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to the Philadelphia Zoo and saw the animals. I was fascinated.'
The teacher said, 'Good, but I wanted the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because Johnny was noted for is bad language. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate' so she called on him.
Johnny said, 'My sister has a sweater with 10 buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten 8.'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Mon Nov 16, 2015 11:11 am

:LOL :LOL :LOL :guilty :guilty
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Tue Nov 17, 2015 8:08 am

How hot is johnny's sister. :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Tue Nov 17, 2015 11:04 am

A first grade teacher was addressing her new class.
'Children, you are no longer in kindergarten, you must learn to use grown-up words now. I want everyone to tell me what they did over the summer. Sandy, you go first.' instructed the teacher.
'I went to see my Nana!' replied Sandy.
'No,' corrected the teacher, 'you went to visit your Grandmother.'
Billy was next. 'I rode on a choo-choo!'
'No Billy, you travelled on a train!' said the teacher. 'Johnny, what did you do?' she asked.
'I read a book' Little Johnny gleamed with pride!
'Very good, Johnny. What book did you read?' she asked
Little Johnny sat up straight in his chair, smiled with confidence and proudly said,
Spoiler Block
'Winnie the Shit!'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Wrench » Tue Nov 17, 2015 5:58 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Tue Nov 17, 2015 7:30 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby ctaulbee » Tue Nov 17, 2015 10:05 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby Pip » Wed Nov 18, 2015 2:13 pm

One day, in an effort to help stir up a class full of listless students, Loretta asked the students to each come up and put on the blackboard something that had caused a lot of excitement around their houses lately.

Of course, Little Johnny was the first student to raise his hand, but Loretta knew he was going to write something dirty, so she called on Nancy instead. Nancy went up to the board and drew a flower, stating that the flowers they'd planted that spring were all blooming, and that was causing a lot of excitement around their house.

Loretta said, 'That's very nice, Nancy. Okay, who wants to go next?'

Again, Little Johnny is waving up a storm in the back of the room, but Loretta doesn't want to call on him because he's going to write something dirty. Instead, she calls on little Timmy, who goes up to the board and draws a stick figure of an animal.

'What kind of animal is that?' asks Loretta.

'That's a puppy,' says Timmy. 'We just got one of those, and it's caused a lot of excitement around our house lately.'

'That's very nice, Timmy,' she replies. 'Who wants to go next?
'
Now Little Johnny is waving more than ever: finally unable to ignore him any longer, Loretta says, 'Okay, Johnny, you're next.'
Little Johnny goes up to the front of the classroom and draws a single dot on the board.

'What's that?' she asks (afraid of what the answer is going to be).

'That's a period,' answers Little Johnny. 'My sister's missed two of those, and you can bet that's caused a lot of excitement around OUR house!'
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Re: Daily Little Johnny

Postby VincentLupo » Wed Nov 18, 2015 5:36 pm

:LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL :LOL
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