Couple of Irish jokes

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Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby Fejinwales » Wed May 27, 2009 10:20 am

A n Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and,
of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over.

" So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?"

" Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

" Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

" I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest,
that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

Now for the best one..

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.

"W hat happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.

" Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.

" That little shit, O'Conner ," says Sean , "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand."

" That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it."

" Well," says Sean , "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

" That I did," said Paddy - Mrs. O'Conner 's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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Re: Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby dirk8837 » Wed May 27, 2009 5:22 pm

:LOL :LOL roflmao good ones m8 :)
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Re: Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby wansbrough » Wed May 27, 2009 8:45 pm

:LOL You need to give Tazz a few pointers..... :Tazz :Tazz :Tazz
Life is like a toilet-paper roll, It starts spinning a lot faster towards the end of the roll..
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Re: Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby VincentLupo » Mon Jun 08, 2009 2:01 pm

Those are great Tazz.
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Re: Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby GRINCH » Mon Jun 08, 2009 3:19 pm

Nice one Fejin :LOL
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Re: Couple of Irish jokes (no offence)

Postby Fejinwales » Tue Jun 09, 2009 1:47 pm

thanks guy's. I like the last one - I laugh at it every time..
Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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